Sekilas =)

Salam. 

Dah pukul 3 pagi.. Mata still tak boley lelap. Mesti baby pon tertanya-tanya apalah yang mama tengah dok buat nie.. Huhu. Sori syg, mama masih sedang berfikir. =)

Jenuh. Susah sebenarnya melupakan masa lalu. tak kira bertapa jauh kita berlari, sedikit sebanyak kadang-kala ianya masih ada. i have moved on..but the past stayed with me. Kadang-kala jiwa rasa sesak pon ada. Bila rasa macam nie, cepat2 berdialog dengan diri sndr. 

"Kenapa nie nieza? Yang berlalu biarlah berlalu... yang dah pergi, biarlah ia pergi. Hargai apa yang ada sekarang."

Sungguh! Bukan sy tidak menghargai, jauh sekali tidak bersyukur dengan apa yang saya miliki hari ini... cumanya kadang-kadang ianya terlintas di fikiran. Cuma terlintas. itu saja. 

i will try my best.. juz stay with me...

Well, we will never know what we can do when we love someone so much and deeply in our heart ..

i already know. 

for sure.

( ^ __ ^ )

Fate. Destiny. Life =)

Salam.

Dah lama tak jenguk blog nie, bersawang dah agaknya. After last entry dulu, macam-macam yang berlaku. Besar kecil semuanya ada. Kehidupan. Life is not simple. 

Tersenyum sendirian. i think i can writing my own stories, with all ends with happy ending. But NO.This is not a fairy tales. Life is reality. All is written in destiny. That what we call FATE. Manusia tidak boleh merasa bahagia, selagi dia tidak belajar menerima dan menghargai apa yang dia miliki kini. One of my friend saying that. Thats so true. Sebaik-baik perancangan adalah yang ditetapkan oleh-Nya.After a long tyme, finally..i think i found out what is the meaning of REAL LOVE. Now i understood. And one day, when my child/twins ask me how to know that is a real love, i will tell her/him proudly. InsyaAllah. *dreaming*

Perumpamaan "Dunia itu ibarat roda, kadang kita di bawah, kadang kita di atas"  betul-betul saya fahami sekarang. Tersenyum sendirian. Being honest,i miss the old me. "Kalaulah masa boleh diulang"...should i say that AGAIN after all the changces that given to me? Saya dah selalu minta supaya masa itu berulang dalam doa-doa yang dulu, kononnya supaya sy boleh merubah segalanya. Supaya sy buat macam nie, bukan macam tue, pilih yang ini, bukan yang itu. Tapi itulah, TUHAN itu selalu menguji manusia dengan kata-kata dia sendiri.Once i got that changce, i forget what should i excatly do. i don't know why. Maybe i juz can't forget that feeling inside me. or maybe, i juz can't learnt from the past experiences. or maybe i juz don't deserve to choose, juz follow.AND last thing, maybe it is my destiny. it is already WRITTEN. Now i think, i will be juz follow the flow. Because i'm too tired in planning and searching..

so many thing i want to change, but its too late now. Nothing i can do. So maybe, i should say "I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO MEAN TO ANYBODY. I'M SORRY FOR HURTING ANYBODY". ALLAH know the best. Maybe right now, you hate me so much. But for sure, one day, you will be thanking me for showing you THE BEST. Me? I will be on my own. I'm sure i will be happy too. With my best. Juz pray for each other's happiness. 

Counting every seconds in my life now because there will A TIME which i need to close all 'BOOKS' in the past. Every single things will be change. And i will make sure i will be very very very HAPPY. This is my choice. Buruk atau baik, Untung atau rugi, i will accept it. 

Ya Allah, i'm giving all of me. i'm giving you my destiny. 

If it is already written, i'll accept it. 

Tetapkan hati ini.

Redhakan hati ini.

Amin. 

*ignore the wrong grammar*